Boom.
First, I’d like to thank everyone again for the kind thoughts and notes. Even without knowing what was wrong, you’ve all been so good to me. Now it’s time I let you know how things stand.
Chris and I met in 1999, in Seattle, Washington. He was walking his Basenji (Gus), and I was walking mine (Ike). We just happened to be at the same park at the same day, with the same breed of dog. After talking for a few minutes, we realized that if we hadn’t met that day, we would have met the next – as we both had plans to attend a Basenji Playday in a nearby town. Chris has always said that this is more than a coincidence, and that we were destined to meet.
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After that, we became instant friends and talked to each other nearly every day. We saw each other frequently, with the excuse of getting the dogs together to play.
It wasn’t long before we quit with the excuses, and just started dating. This photo of Gus and Ike was taken on the day after we met. They were instant best friends, too. |
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Over the last eight years, we’ve lived in four different houses and traveled the world. |
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We have had long-term plans of building our dream home in Illinois, with plenty of room for the dogs to run. |
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Our family has grown and changed. We adopted Hank in 2000, and sadly lost him to cancer 4 years later. Since then, we adopted Lou, and sort of accidentally adopted Abe once we realized that he was more than just a foster dog to us. |
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We’ve had good times and bad, and highs and lows. Even during the low times, I can confidently say we’ve remained best friends.
Everyday I’ve looked forward to waking up next to him, spending time with him, and taking care of him. |
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Upon returning home from my trip to Alaska two weeks ago, Chris had an announcement.
He is done with me. BOOM. |
Now what? Well, I don’t know. Everything that I’ve known as my life, my loves, my family, my home, my future…it has all changed. I’m baffled and angry and sad. I live in a state that is still new to me, over 4000 miles away from my family. The most painful part is that Chris isn’t interested in getting professional help in the hopes of reconciliation.
I’m working on a plan. A plan for me as a single person. A plan I never thought I would have to make.
Surprisingly, I’m holding it together pretty well. After the first two days of nearly constant meltdowns, I’ve realized that I hate feeling like that. I pulled my head out of my ass and decided that was no way to live. I’m doing my best to take care of myself. I’m also being sure to give my dogs all of the love and attention they deserve, which brings me joy in return.
I promise that verypink will once again be a happy place to visit. Soon. I need it to be.
That’s how it stands.
BOOM.
Staci here – please be kind in your comments. Kind to all parties involved. Thanks.
Comment by s t a c i — July 10, 2007 @ 6:54 pm
Hi. I’ve been a reader for some time here, and I’m really sad to hear the news. I was kinda worried, too.
You seem to be a very optimistic person, and I’m sure that will help you a lot in this new stage of your life. I wish you the best.
(and i’m sorry that i can’t write exactly what i feel, english isn’t my first language)
Love
m
Comment by m — July 10, 2007 @ 7:00 pm
It’s so hard to fight for something when the other person doesn’t have the desire to do so. Today was the first day I officially worried about you . . . worried about whether things were so raw that writing didn’t help. So, even if it’s not all about the happy for a while, I *am* glad to hear that you’ll be coming back to verypink soon.
Comment by Janet — July 10, 2007 @ 7:34 pm
Staci~ ~ ~I am so sorry to hear this sad news. I have checked in almost every day in hopes to see some good news about your wellbeing. I have missed you. Be well my friend. You are a strong gal and your spirit will carry you thru to the new path that lays ahead for you.
Comment by Ahrisha — July 10, 2007 @ 7:47 pm
I have missed your posts and am so sorry to hear what you’re going through. Please take care of yourself! I look forward to more verypink and your cute doggies whenever you are ready!
Comment by Maureen — July 10, 2007 @ 7:51 pm
I’m so sorry this has happened to you…
Comment by paula — July 10, 2007 @ 7:52 pm
I’m so sorry that Chris isn’t willing to work with you on this. Let me know what I can do to help you. Anything, anytime, anywhere!
Comment by Laura — July 10, 2007 @ 8:10 pm
Dear Staci – I’m so sorry to hear this news. I was just about to send you a second, “We’re here for you in blogland message.” Now, somehow that seems hollow, but unfortunately it’s all I have to offer. I hope you know that there are many, many people out here (who don’t even really know you), but realize how wonderful you are and are just wishing you happiness and peace …We’re all rooting for you!
Comment by Cassie — July 10, 2007 @ 8:28 pm
((((Staci))) Sooo sorry for what you’re going through. Have been so worried about you. Maybe you need a roadtrip to Austin…if you come, please let me know. Waves of good feeling from here to there.
Comment by Denice — July 10, 2007 @ 8:29 pm
There are just no good words for this, ever…but I’m sorry, and I wish you and the barkless boys much comfort. If you need anything, please give me a shout.
Comment by Susan — July 10, 2007 @ 8:34 pm
Jeez louise, that’s really, really . . . crappy. Yowza, does love suck sometimes or WHAT?! I’m sending some California sunshine and major girl power your way, fellow Staci!
Comment by Stacey — July 10, 2007 @ 9:06 pm
Staci, I am very sad for you, and very sad for Chris, too, because I can’t help thinking that someday he will kick himself for this.
I don’t buy into the “everything happens for a reason” stuff; things happen because…someone got bored, or got lazy, or wasn’t paying attention, or simply changed. We aren’t in control of others’ desires and intentions; we are only in control of our own.
How you handle this blow defines you. You’ve licked your wounds and begun the healing process. Not to say that it’s something you’ll get over quickly; the death of love is extraordinarily painful. But you are intelligent, creative, competent, and beautiful – and honey, the world is your oyster! Chapter __ is about to begin.
Comment by Chey — July 10, 2007 @ 9:21 pm
Oh Staci – bleh. That about sums it up.
Hug the doggies.
I’ll keep you in my thoughts.
Comment by Kaitie Tee — July 10, 2007 @ 9:39 pm
Staci -
I was so happy when I saw a new post on verypink, and then so sad to read about what you’re going through. Being ‘unintentionally still-single’ at 39, you have my sympathy for the grief/anger/stress, and total support for whatever comes next for you. I echo Chey’s comments – you are an extremely capable and articulate woman. Your personality shines thru VeryPink.com and has drawn all of us back to check your updates (and even start blogs!). I have confidence that it will become what you need it to be and be the forum for us in blogland to be with you. Hang in there…
- Debra
Comment by JavaNut — July 10, 2007 @ 9:41 pm
Oh, Staci, I am so sorry to hear this. Partly because your story of meeting and being friends first sounds so similar to my own. Be well and know that what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger – you may wish it killed you when you’re going through it, but you will be stronger on the other end. Please be well and take care of yourself.
Comment by Kathleen — July 10, 2007 @ 10:04 pm
Bah! His loss, I say. Don’t worry – something this rotten only means you’re now due something that much more awesome later on down the road. You just wait. And I say this as a card-carrying pessimist, so that means it’s true.
When I went through something very similar over two years ago, I started that little gruesome cartoon series as a catharsis. So, if you ever feel like knitting a faux-blood-stained scarf or something, I not only highly recommend it for therapy but would absolutely buy it from you!
Seriously, though, I wish you the best. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. You seem like such a lovely person. Nobody with a good blog deserves that! *many hugs*
Comment by Katy — July 10, 2007 @ 10:19 pm
Staci, let us know if you need help with your plan. Please keep us posted. I’m in the same boat as you, so hearing about you being strong and smart will certainly be helpful. *hugs*
Comment by Kim in Blacksburg — July 10, 2007 @ 10:19 pm
Comment
Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,
A medley of extemporanea;
And love is a thing that can never go wrong,
And I am Marie of Roumania.
-Dorothy Parker
Come to Austin, Staci. It’s a place for the wounded…and hopeful…
Comment by jana — July 10, 2007 @ 10:24 pm
Oh no. Nononono no. I cannot believe this.
I know that whatever I could say right now isn’t going to help with anything, so just this: thinking of you and wishing you all the best in the world, Staci. Hang in there and give the dogs a big hug from me.
Comment by Lorelei — July 10, 2007 @ 11:03 pm
Oh damn, damn, damn. I am sending you white light and some Seattle good-vibe lovins across the internets. My girlfriends and I recently supplied a box of Goodwill dishes to another friend who just went through the same thing. The dishes met a sad fate on the sidewalk, one by one, but she said she felt better. Take care of yourself.
Comment by wendee — July 10, 2007 @ 11:30 pm
I’m sorry kiddo. We’ve known each other for a long time, and I know the strength you have. Although we haven’t talked much over the years, I’m convinced that there are few people that could overcome adversity like you can.
Again, I am sorry. If you need anything, you know where I am.
Comment by Chris — July 10, 2007 @ 11:35 pm
Following Lorelei’s cry I read this – and need to say some words:
Be strong, Staci! You have a lot of friends all around the world. Each love, new ones as same as old, stable ones, have a chance to break in splinters ALL the time. It’s the dark side of the incredible thing called love.
For the future nobody know what’s happens. Don’t give up yourself. Even if the next time not the best in your life, good times will follow. World’s great, world’s wonderful, world’s so much full of new experiences.
Marco from Austria
Comment by truetigger — July 11, 2007 @ 12:23 am
Oh Staci, All I can say is that I was shocked to read it, and sad for you. I too have went through the same thing, hence the reason I am back in Canada and no longer in The Netherlands (where my ex husband is from).
Stay strong girl and you will get through this, and come out the other side better and wiser for what has happened.
Keep me posted and let me know if there is anything I can do to help. I am always a few mouse clicks away. (((((Hugs)))))
Comment by Melissa D — July 11, 2007 @ 5:25 am
THINKING OF YOU AND GOING THROUGH SIMILAR – wishing you the best.
Comment by CHARLENE — July 11, 2007 @ 5:28 am
My mom always said beware of men buying new cars – she did – I swear.
You’re in my thoughts and prayers – best wishes to you.
Comment by Rita — July 11, 2007 @ 6:41 am
Staci, my dear, I am so sorry. You know, when you announced that you had troubles, after just getting back from Alaska, I thought that was it. As they say “put on your big girl panties…”. Not so fun being a big girl sometimes.
If you’d like to come to Maryland to get away, please feel free to come visit me. If I can do something to help you get situated, please tell me what it is.
Shawn
Comment by Shawn — July 11, 2007 @ 7:05 am
Staci:
What can someone say when something like this happens? I’m not really sure, but I will say this…I will keep you in my thoughts and send you all the strength that I can. Take care of yourself.
Comment by Julie — July 11, 2007 @ 7:06 am
Oh Staci, I was so shocked to hear of this news. Be strong and know that we are all here for you. Take the time you need and know that I will be looking forward to future posts. I know that you must still be in shock, but I have no doubt that you are already on your way to better days.
Take care and please let us all know how you are doing from time to time.
Comment by Sarah — July 11, 2007 @ 7:12 am
Staci – I am so sorry to hear about this but keep your head high and you will find peace. Many hugs and well wishes to you!
Christine in GA
Comment by Christine — July 11, 2007 @ 7:24 am
Wow. I’m glad you have your Basenjis to help get you through this. If you still decide you want to come to Illinois anyway, remember that I live in Edwardsville. You can lean on me and the Rt. 66 Basenji Club and we’ll help you get through this.
Debbie B-T
Comment by Debbie B-T — July 11, 2007 @ 7:27 am
I am so sorry for what you’re going through. There is little that can be said that could provide any relief to the feelings and emotions you have right now. A ((((hug)))) is being sent along with much understanding since so many of us have had to deal with this or similar unexpected ‘changes’. We’ve never met but I consider you a friend of mine because I have gotten to know you through your blog. I hate that you are going through this simply because I know how much it sucks through personal experience. You have so many friends you haven’t met in person that care deeply for you and are sharing your pain now because you are such a wonderful, intelligent, talented woman. Again, one more (((((hug))))).
Comment by Kristi — July 11, 2007 @ 7:32 am
Staci – A friend of mine had told me about your website and what you’re going through. I know it doesn’t feel like it right now but you’ve already made tremendous strides in picking yourself up and moving on with your life. I wish you only the best and I have no doubt that a happy, fulfilled life is ahead of you.
Comment by Missy — July 11, 2007 @ 7:33 am
Staci-I had a feeling this is what was going on and I’m sorry. I had the same thing happen a couple of years ago and had to start all over. I wouldn’t wish what you’re going through on anyone. The one mantra which gets me through the tough days is “it will all be okay, different but okay”. I realize you don’t know me from Adam, but please, if you need support, I’m here with a 3 AM ear if you need it.
Comment by teki — July 11, 2007 @ 7:48 am
Damn, now I will not get to meet you and I really like your sense of humor and site. I will continue to be a fan of verypink. Hang in there.
Comment by Pig — July 11, 2007 @ 8:03 am
Staci –
You are a strong, smart and amazing woman. There are no words I can type that can comfort you more, but just know that you are loved, by the people that know you and many, many people that do not.
It will be hard for a while, and you will get used to living with the pain, then one day, yo’ll start feeling a bit better and then you’ll start to realize that you’re only missing the pain you felt, not the past. And you’ll be stornger for it. Until then, cry, get mad, hurt… do the things that you need to do to get it all out.
And if you ever need anyhing – do not hesitate to put it up at your site. There are so many of us who have been through similar situations who want to help. And we will be here for you. I promise.
Take care of you, hug the dogs and just make every 15 minutes the next best 15 minutes of your life.
Comment by Dana B. — July 11, 2007 @ 8:19 am
I am really, really sorry. Hang in there. Many Alaska hugs to you!
Comment by Suzanne — July 11, 2007 @ 8:20 am
Staci – I have been an admiring “lurker” to your page for some time. Your amazing writing and even more amazing knitter got me hooked and has kept me coming back for me. I wanted to leave you a comment to let you know that we are all thinking about you. As my fellow friend Cassie has already stated – we may know you only in blogland, but we are all out here “wishin and hopin” for the best for you.
Comment by Bri — July 11, 2007 @ 8:51 am
i’m so sorry to hear about this. one day he’ll regret this decision. i’m in wisconsin. if you want/need a change of scenery, my house is a disaster, but the boys and you are very welcome. seriously. it’s even southern wisconsin, so illinois is never far away. cody would love to meet you and the boys (cody is my lab/weimaraner mix from the jefferson humane society). hang in there. it may feel like the end of the world (and sometimes it is) but “this too shall pass”. i’ve always hated that saying, but it is true. we’re here for you. let us know what you need and we’ll all do our best to get it to you. love and hugs and kisses to you.
Comment by zeghsy — July 11, 2007 @ 9:18 am
Staci!
I was so looking forward to you getting back on line. But not like this. But I hadda feeling! {{{{{Hugs}}}}} As someone who has gone through a major life change lately. (Lost both of my Dobermans and my elderly mother who I cared for in 6 months). It can be scary and daunting. But don’t think of it as an end think of it as a new beginning. Hugs to you and the Boyz (who I hope don’t get the bad end of this by being split up)
XOXO
Melody
PS And Rita is right. Go to Austin its a great place to recoup. Have a Capital Margarita for me while you’re there
Comment by Melody — July 11, 2007 @ 9:49 am
Hey Staci. I am so sorry to hear that you are going through a rough time. You are a very strong and determined person so I know that you will overcome this situation. I’ve missed you at SNB and hope to see you soon.
Comment by Mo — July 11, 2007 @ 9:59 am
Wow, I’m in shock! But I always am when I hear sad news like this. I have never written you before, but I’ve read this blog for well over a year. (I don’t knit, I don’t have a dog, nor do I live in Texas) I just found it randomly and thought your sense of humor was great so I kept coming back. I wish you the best, and I want you to come out better on the other side. Take Care and Good Luck
Nickie
Comment by Nickie — July 11, 2007 @ 10:09 am
(((Staci))) Sweetie,I am soooo sorry to hear the news. My heart breaks and just aches, for you. In time, things will heal, but until then, it will be hard. Know that you have a lot of friends, here in Houston and worldwide. If you need anything, let us know!
(((huggs)))
Comment by Sweet_Thang aka Lexie — July 11, 2007 @ 10:36 am
I’m so sorry…
Comment by Octopus Knits — July 11, 2007 @ 10:59 am
Staci,
I’m a huge fan of your site, and I admire you so much. Words never express how raw you can feel when things like this happen. After I read your last entry, I felt absolutely sick to my stomach, and you were on my mind all day at work. Well, I will be nice, but there are all sorts of nasty, pointy words in my mind right now for the cause of your pain. I sincerely hope that you go from utterly heartbroken to solid as a rock quickly. Build a little birdhouse in your soul honey!
Comment by Marlene — July 11, 2007 @ 12:15 pm
Hi Staci, I just stumbled upon your blog recently, I don’t even like knitting. I am a college student in Virginia and I loved reading your blog. I am so sorry to hear about what has happened. I have never left a comment before but I wanted you to know you are in my prayers and there is life after this transition. I could never say anything to take away the pain you are feeling right now but I wanted to let you know I enjoyed your words so much and I’m so sorry this is happening to you. Please take care of yourself.
A Poff
Comment by A Poff — July 11, 2007 @ 12:19 pm
(((((Staci))))), I’m usually a lurker, but have always loved your blog. I’m a knitter in Houston who has bumped into you a few times. My deepest sympathies for your horrible loss. If you need anything from an almost stranger let me know. The boys will take good care of you, and you have so many friends who are here for you. Please take care and if nothing else, know how many of us care.
Comment by Lisa — July 11, 2007 @ 1:15 pm
Oh my gosh. I cannot even imagine. I know we’ve just “met” through Ravelry and all, but honestly, my heart-felt best wishes for you to just move through this bad period with nothing but good at the other end. Be well and take care of yourself.
Comment by Anne — July 11, 2007 @ 1:25 pm
Staci,
I began reading this blog well over a year ago. Though I have absolutely no interest in knitting and have never even seen a basenji in real life, your lighthearted, happy-go-lucky style of writing and ability to convey your personality through your words kept me hooked. I’ve only now felt compelled to leave a comment, just to let you know that the way you’re handling this debacle with such impeccable grace is an inspiration to all of us. I’m sure the scars you walk away from this with will only add even more to your charming character.
Best wishes and good luck,
Ashley
Comment by Ashley — July 11, 2007 @ 1:40 pm
Staci- One day you will look back and say “how did I ever get through that time?” And you will be so proud of yourself for how far you will have come and how well you will have done. But for right now I know that is not much comfort. For right now just take the best care of yourself you can. I’ve been through the same thing and self care is a very important part of healing. Please know that each of us who enjoys your wonderful blog is pulling for you. Verypink will always be a happy place to be- and I am sure that i speak for all of us in saying we will be here with you every step of the way. We don’t care if we are talking about knitting, sudden life changes, dogs, or Alaska. We are here for all of it with you! We are just glad to be here.
Comment by Linda — July 11, 2007 @ 1:55 pm
Thinking of you…
Comment by meg — July 11, 2007 @ 2:10 pm
What, what, WHAT?!
Oh my gosh…I feel so sad for you. I know that I would feel just lost and devastated if my husband did that to me. Please take time for yourself. And please don’t make any rash decisions at this time…like big cross country moves. But do take trips to see friends and family and figure things out. Take tons of time to center on your feelings and what you really want next. It is time for it to be “all about you.”
Makes me wish I was still in TX to help you.
Comment by yarngineer — July 11, 2007 @ 2:25 pm
Staci–I’ve been a huge fan a the site since I stumbled upon it from cuteoverload about a year ago. I’m sorry to hear about your situation but from what I’ve seen on verypink, you are strong and positive, always. There’s no way your future is anything but bright, even if it doesn’t feel like that right now. I hope you realize what a positive difference your blog makes for so many; we’re all here for you and rooting for you!
Comment by Karo — July 11, 2007 @ 3:27 pm
reading your posting this morning made me cry but coming home this afternoon to read all these comments just makes me smile. All this this love, care and concern just has to to turn Karma around soon.
Comment by CHARLENE — July 11, 2007 @ 4:06 pm
Hey Staci-
I also stumbled on this blog via Cute Overload many months ago and it’s been a highlight of my Monday/Wednesdays/Fridays ever since.
I was hoping this wasn’t the “life” that was happening, and now that you’ve confirmed that it is I am truly sorry.
This kind of thing is one of the worst to go through…if not THE worst.
Your strength is inspiring, even though I know you probably feel anything but strong right now.
I know know your future is rosy…VERY pink if you will!!
Comment by Laura — July 11, 2007 @ 4:15 pm
Oh Staci, I’m so, so sorry! I’m here for you if you need a shoulder to cry on or bitch to, let me know.
Comment by kelp! — July 11, 2007 @ 4:19 pm
Staci, I came across your website through your postings on BRAT-chat, and I’ve come back occasionally when you’ve posted more (I have two B’s myself, one a rescue from BRAT). Then I found out you were a knitter (teaching myself now), and I HAD to add you to my reader, period.
I’m so sorry for what you are going through, as MANY people have said before. From what I have read, you are a strong woman (have to be with so many B’s!) and you will make it through this, you always will, because there is always a tomorrow…
Your B’s will keep your mind off things with endless TP raids or random “slayings” of those evil paper towels (who knew?) and put a smile on your face when dance and baroo to you… just think of the wagging cinnamon roll tails… and know that you are not alone.
Take care,
Victoria
Comment by Victoria — July 11, 2007 @ 5:09 pm
I know I emailed you offline, but I forgot to say, you should come to ABQ and we can have a spa weekend and drink wine and pretend stinky boys don’t exist.
Comment by carole — July 11, 2007 @ 5:21 pm
Staci,
I stumbled on your website when I was lonely and had just moved to Houston. You inspired me to try my hand and knitting – I soon discovered I was much better at rocks than knitting but your website quickly moved from my last of daily readings to the first. I have been worried about you since your return home. I am sorry this happened and I agree with everyone that you don’t deserve it. But seeing as how it can’t be undone, I’m here with everyone else to send happy thoughts. If you ever want to meet up for drinks or go on a doggie date to the dog park, I would love to help you on the way back to happy Staci! I can promise you it is hard not to laugh when my dog runs straight from the water and into the dirt!
- Jen
p.s. If it makes you feel better, you will always be a better knitter than me! =)
Comment by Jen — July 11, 2007 @ 6:10 pm
Aw, gee — I was afraid it was something like that. Been there with my own BOOM, many years ago. It’s really hard when the other person absolutely refuses to consider any other options. You may go through a spell of doing things and feeling things that aren’t typical of how you think of yourself. It’s like a death. But you do get through it, trust me.
Comment by Barb in Texas — July 11, 2007 @ 7:00 pm
Staci,
Yes, I’m sorry you have to go through this. Now for the good stuff. Honestly, there is nothing more exciting than starting a new life OF YOUR CHOOSING! There will be struggles, but you never have to ask someone elses opinion or permission again. Okay, maybe not never, but think of things in your own terms. What do YOU want to do, be, see, experience? I have had this dumpy experience too many times to be your cryin’ buddy. I am an eternal optimist and hate feelings of self-pity so much that I throw all my energy into remedying the situation. I think you are a bit like that too. This is a perfect opportunity for a new adventure. I do not wish to disrespect your sorrow and pain, I feel it too, but after a few days, it’s not helpful. We don’t care if you are happy when you write at VeryPink – just post however you feel. And let us know how we can help? Courage.
Comment by Julia — July 11, 2007 @ 7:48 pm
I soooooo was not kidding about helping you travel to your next destination. A train ride through the great northwest sounds great to me….as long as it’s not snowing.
Do they allow pups on trains???
Comment by Strider's Mistress — July 11, 2007 @ 8:42 pm
I am so sorry you’re going through this. I’m sure it must be difficult. Please let me know if I can do anything to help out in this difficult time.
I feel like I should say more, but I honestly don’t know what to say beyond what’s been said. But please know that, you do have a support group and people that will be there for you.
Comment by Jenny — July 12, 2007 @ 12:15 am
oh, dear. i knew that the silence couldn’t be a good thing. i doubt there’s anything i can say that someone else hasn’t said. so, i’ll just say… we all love you, and we all want the best for you. and your dogs. take care. cry when the urge takes you. that’s the best i can do, but please don’t hesitate to ask for more.
lots of hugs.
Comment by avalynda — July 12, 2007 @ 2:58 am
sending hugs to you and the dogs. i know you’ll help each other through this so you all come out the other side.
Comment by Eileen — July 12, 2007 @ 7:24 am
Oh, Staci, I’m so very sorry. Know that my thoughts are with you – and I know that you will get through this with the humor and strength you have always shown. If you need to cry – I’m willing to listen – if you need revenge (though I doubt your in the angry phase yet) I know some people, who know some people, who break some knee caps.
Best wishes,
Kassy
Comment by Kassy — July 12, 2007 @ 7:42 am
oh chicken
I’m so sorry.. I actually had the same situation happen to me earlier this year – it was like the bottom of my world just dropped out. I really, really feel for you. I promise that it gets better, because it can’t possibly get any worse. I used my rabbit to get through it, and your dogs will be there for you. Sometimes you don’t need anyone to say anything – you just need someone to sit with. All the very best and I’m SO relieved you are posting again, I was really worried!
Comment by Rosie — July 12, 2007 @ 8:06 am
Ouch. Staci I am so very sorry to hear about this. If you need anything, let me know. And if you need to laugh or just be around laughing, SnB has beer and funny people.
Comment by Sea Anemone — July 12, 2007 @ 8:08 am
Staci,
My heart just goes out to you. This too shall pass and you will be happy again. Hang in there. Keep knitting and blogging!
Comment by Socal Flyer — July 12, 2007 @ 8:41 am
We fellow Stacy/Staci/Stacie/Staceys need to stick together – I’m so sorry. Let me know if I can do anything!
Comment by Stacy — July 12, 2007 @ 10:53 am
We recently made each other “friends” on Ravelry–I’m really sorry to hear your news. Just wanted to let you know that I’m thinking of you.
Comment by Jennifer — July 12, 2007 @ 12:35 pm
I’m missing our breakfast club and I’ve been thinking of you!
Comment by Jeanne — July 12, 2007 @ 1:26 pm
I am very sorry, I know how hard this is, and how hard it will be. BUT
Time really does help heal, and the knowledge that you will and must survive has to be what you use as your strength.
Be careful driving, be careful with drinking, be careful in everything you do and try to focus on taking care of yourself.
Try to write things down before saying them (oh the mistakes I made) and get as much support as you can.
Just like everyone else I am here for you and wish that I could wish away the pain.
beth
Comment by Beth — July 12, 2007 @ 2:36 pm
Staci,
I’m sure that what I have to say has already been said many times over, but please know that you are in my thoughts and, while I have never met you in person, I am another person from Austin who believes that the “live music capital of the world” is one of the best places to recouperate.
One thing I will say is that after my own BOOM a couple years ago, I was able to evaluate what I wanted and didn’t want in a relationship/partner. These experiences suck a great deal, but they definitely teach you what you need to know for the future.
Definitely keep in touch with your friends…they will help you more than you could ever imagine.
Sending you many hugs and positive vibes…
Merrie
Comment by Merrie — July 12, 2007 @ 3:18 pm
Thinking of you . . .
Lisa
Comment by Lisa L — July 12, 2007 @ 4:01 pm
I am so sorry to hear what is making you so sad.
Every day I going to see if you have posted something new and have left worried. I wish you the strength. My heart goes out to you.
Take care.
Hugs Dale
PS. I have two dogs and Seven cats…an animal lover like you.
Comment by Dale — July 12, 2007 @ 5:11 pm
I don’t know what I could say that hasn’t been said above…but I’m keeping you in my thoughts, hoping you get through this in the best way for you. Just…take care of yourself, especially right now.
Comment by Amy — July 12, 2007 @ 5:26 pm
Staci-I’m so very sorry. I wondered what happened after we exchanged emails when you were in Alaska. I know it’s so hard. Be strong. I’ll be thinking of you
Comment by linda — July 13, 2007 @ 9:32 am
I have been offline again much of this week, and hadn’t checked over here since … well, since your last post. I can’t begin to tell you how sad this all makes me feel – literal, physical pains. *sigh* I’m here if you ever need to talk, or anything really – a friend 4000 miles from home. I called last night because I just felt an overwhelming need to check in with you, and now I know why.
I had really hoped there would be counseling. And after 8 years, you would come out strong. Well, actually – I’m still confident you will come out strong. You are an amazing woman.
Comment by Christine — July 13, 2007 @ 9:44 am
After reading other comments here, I clued into the reason behind my last comment – I went through a BOOM after 8 years too. In an always rocky relationship, but still. It is just hard to see it happen to people that you care about when you know how the pain feels.
Comment by Christine — July 13, 2007 @ 9:48 am
Oh Staci, I am so sorry to hear of your relationship troubles. I have been reading your blog for several months and feel as if we have been friends for years. It always seemed like your relationship with Chris was so solid; I would never have guessed that was what was troubling you. Even though I only know you from your blog, I know you will some how land on your feet and I know your dogs will be a big part of making that happen. Having been through a divorce myself I know what you must be going through, but there is always a good side to every situation life throws at you, you just have to keep your eyes open and find it. I will be thinking about you and if you every need anything I will do whatever I can for you.
Comment by Blooming Knitter — July 13, 2007 @ 11:39 am
Just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you today. {{{{hugs}}}
Comment by Sarah — July 13, 2007 @ 12:15 pm
Staci, you are showing incredible strength and grace. I am thinking good thoughts for you. Take care.
Comment by nicole — July 13, 2007 @ 12:40 pm
DAMN YOU BLOGLINES! I swear I would have been here sooner!
God, girl. Okay, I know we don’t “know” each other, so forgive me if this is creepy/stalker, but you have all of my sympathy. And my admiration, for keeping it together. I’m so sorry that this happened to you, and I wish we lived closer so I could do something less awkward than leave a blog comment to show that I support you.
Comment by kim — July 13, 2007 @ 6:21 pm
Staci,
My heart weeps for you.
Remember all the love you gave the furkids? Well now is the time to let them give it back. In your darkest moments one of the boys will be waiting to soothe your aching heart.
Lynn, Pupcake, Little Bits, Cali, Cinnamon and Shadow.
Comment by Lynn, Pupcake, Little Bits, Cali, Cinnamon and Shadow — July 13, 2007 @ 8:54 pm
I saw the title and just thought “OH CRAP!!” – I’ve got that t-shirt too. Stay strong, get whatever help you need and don’t be afraid to feel your feelings. I’m so sorry this has happened – hugs to you Staci.
Comment by Lisa — July 14, 2007 @ 7:59 am
Hey Staci…
Wow…what a shock…I know EXACTLY how you feel. My ex did that when he up and took the kids out of school and called me on his way to TN. It sucks all the way around.
Things will get better I promise!!
Keep your chin up hun…you know my number if you need to talk. Give the puppies hugs…
You are in our thoughts and prayers…
Namaste~
Comment by Jennifer Liang — July 14, 2007 @ 10:12 pm
Total stranger here in blogland…putting my support out there to a woman who needs it from a woman who’s been there. It’s nothing but yucky at first then you get to discover a new you. Your blog is fabulous and looks like something I would have if I had the time. New Mexico is a great getaway place and we have lots of cool knitters! Your dogs are so sweet. Take care.
Comment by Cheryl — July 14, 2007 @ 10:25 pm
My sister sent me this link to your blog, my husband left me out of nowhere one year ago in August. You have a long hard and painful road ahead but it will get better. You will be happy again and your world will start to make sense again, just hang in there. Friends and family will mean well even when what they say infuriates you. Its ok to still love him even though he has done this to you, it takes time for those feelings to change from married love to love that is less intense. The intensity of your feelings will eventaully calm down. Remember to take care of yourself during this time give yourself time to grieve your monumental loss. Thinking of you. Carrie
Comment by carrie — July 14, 2007 @ 11:10 pm
Oh, sweetie!
I just visited your blog for the first time (I don’t get around much…) and I’m so sorry for such an inelegant and ‘surprise!’ ending to what seems to have been a meaningful – and fun – relationship.
Life is such a crap shoot sometimes, huh?
Best of luck to you – sometimes things just suck for a little bit, then they get better. It stinks to be in the sucky part – but know that in the future when you run across a friend in the same place, you’ll be uniquely equipped to make their life a little easier by having been there. No one wants to be a broken-heart-cartologist, sometimes life forces us to be one!
Comment by Annie — July 15, 2007 @ 10:03 am
I thought I had already commented but apparently not…I’m so sorry to hear this Staci. But all your knitting buddies at SnB are there for you if you need anything!
Comment by Meredith — July 15, 2007 @ 2:53 pm
Staci, I am so sorry that you are going through this. That said, I admire your strength and from what I know of you from reading your site, you will overcome this, grow from it and in time look back on it as just one more thing that shaped you into the person you’ve become. My thoughts are with you.
Comment by Kat — July 16, 2007 @ 1:08 pm
Hi Staci, I’ve been out of the loop for the last month and am now catching up with your blog. It’s funny, I don’t know you in person, just here on the Internet, yet I let out a gasp when I read this entry. I felt like I was talking to a good friend (which I think you are to me). I’ve been in your situation (well, not exactly, but I have been divorced) and I want you to know that it will get better. Not today, maybe not tomorrow, but it will get better.
Hang in there and know I’m sending you happy thoughts and positive energy. If you’re ever in southwest Missouri, feel free to find me. I have a tiny bungalow with cats, but it’s comfy and welcoming.
Comment by Tammy — July 18, 2007 @ 8:12 am
Holy shit. That’s not at all what I was expecting. To be honest I thought one of you found out you were ill… breaking up never even crossed my mind. I’m shocked!!
You know that’s one of the things that scares me most, especially in my situation. Living here, not working and watching life sort of pass me by. What happens if in 5, 10 or 15 years my husband drops the BOOM on me? I’d be up the poopoo creek without a paddle! This has really given me some food for thought.
It sounds like you are coping well though and I really do hope things work out for you. I will be reading and keeping up on how you get along… *hugs*
Sorry that you’re going through all this.
Comment by Breigh — July 19, 2007 @ 12:59 pm
Yo. SUP. Coco says it all aint no thang. And Coco says Ike is BAD ASS.
Coco says IKE can KICK it wit her as she chases his BAD MO FO BASENJI KUNG FU grip curly ass up and over dat couch and under dat table and swizzling round da room and she still can’t catch his THUG AZZZZZ cuz he’s bad as whut you is. You is da-shnizzler.
Sorry. Hi Staci. It’s Steve and Coco. Just saying hi and remembering how funny it was to watch Coco chase Ike up and over and around and down and in and out of that house of yours and watch that bad ass Ike kick off those walls and stand up and box my big loveable Chesapeake who is ELEVEN AND A HALF and gitten long in de tooth..
That Ike got hit and said AINT NO THANG and got up and said BRING IT.. YO.
(for casual readers Ike got hit by a car and shrugged it off and still was full of juice. Just like Staci)
Oh yeah the Pizza was good and you’re still a rock star blonde.
Hang in there.
Comment by stevecoco — July 20, 2007 @ 1:09 am
I don’t know you, but I started reading your blog because I’m learning to knit and one of my friends told me about your site (you make such fabulous things!). I’ve greatly enjoyed reading your take on the world (I’m a dog person too, but dachshunds are my breed of choice), and I was so saddened to read this entry. How lovely, though, to know you have so many positive wishes and thoughts coming your way; please add mine to the list. Take care and lean on those closest to you, and soak up all that unconditional four-legged love!
Comment by Jools — July 22, 2007 @ 8:41 pm
Staci,
After finding your link on BRAT, I’ve loved your blog for quite awhile and marveled at your talent, heart, wit, soul. You are a true force of nature as well as being what my 95-year-old father would call “quite a tomato.” That a mere man could drop this BOOM on one such as you proves….I don’t know what, but it’s just wrong!
I suffered my own BOOM recently, and found to my amazement that acting like everything’s okay, at least in public, has made things FEEL much more okay than I thought they could at this point. I realize how vile that sounds, but it’s a discovery I wish I’d made years earlier. I have no doubt that better things await you on the other side of this door.
I moved last year from Austin to Seattle, have two basenjis – one a rescue – and love to knit, so you’re in my heart although we haven’t met. You’ve got guts and you WILL be just fine when the dust settles!
Comment by Kate — August 13, 2007 @ 11:27 pm